Photoset reblogged from ♡the guy with the hair & the internet cult leader♡ with 397 notes
Miss you Nene.
Photo with 3 notes
Chapter 3: Choking Up
Dan fell asleep on the couch shortly after dinner. Whatever pill he took after eating always knocked him out. The thing is, he never got to fully sleep. His eyes remained closed, but his mind was still racing. Every time. He could hear his parents talking to Phil so clearly, yet he wished that he could just turn it off.
“You’re so good with him,” Mrs. Howell’s voice said quietly.
“You know how to take care of him.”
“I have to,” Phil’s voice replied. Dan could feel his blue eyes looking down at him. “He’s all I’ve got.”
“Well, you know you can come to us if things get to be too much,” Mr. Howell told him. “We’re glad to see that you’ve handled him so well.”
Dan just LOVED that his parents spoke about him like he was a broken object that would only get in the way of things. It was one thing for random people to say it behind his back, but his own parents?
“It’s nothing, I’m happy to do it,” Phil said. “I love him, and I know he loves me, even if he can’t always put it into words.”
That was true. Dan loved Phil with everything he had. Even if Dan was normal, he still wouldn’t be able to put it into words.
Eventually, Dan was able to just ignore everything around him and fall into a deeper sleep. His dreams weren’t any better than reality, however.
Sirens blared, only adding more noise and panic to the scene. There were two cars, both wrecked. The black truck was mangled and crashed at the head, while the taxi cab was destroyed and lying on its side. There were several people on the sidelines, looking in on the scene.
Sparks was laughing somewhere in the background. He was one to show up at the absolute worst times, but that’s not what was worrying Dan.
He was struggling in his seat, severe pain pulsing in his leg and other places of his body. Just ahead, he could see the paramedics rushing to the vehicle he was in.
“Phil? Phil? I-It’s okay, they’re coming! J-Just hold on!” Dan stammered, looking to the love of his life sitting next to him. But he couldn’t see him due to the fact that it was dark all around.
It was strange that he was consoling Phil, who didn’t respond. Normally, it was the other way around. Wait, why wasn’t Phil responding?
“Phil?” Dan frantically called as his door was busted open. “Phil!”
“Dan!” The boy was jolted awake, and he realised he was back in the apartment, laying on the couch. Then he saw Phil looking down at him, worry in his blue eyes.
Immediately, Dan looked away, trying to remember the dream. Why did it leave him so sweaty and panicky? Why couldn’t he remember?
“Hey,” Phil said to him, his hand cupping his cheek. “It was just a dream.”
The touch sent chills down his spine. It was hard to keep a relationship with Dan’s illness, but both boys were willing to take the challenge.
“I’m okay,” Dan said quietly, sitting up to meet Phil’s gaze. He breathed in before speaking his next words. “I-I love you.”
These words were almost never spoken. Dan wasn’t sure why he never said this enough; He definitely felt it, that’s for sure. He could only hope that Phil knew how much Dan loved and appreciated him.
~sorry its so short, I was going to put more but I couldn’t think of much. But then next chapter will be good! Also, WHO WATCHED PINOF5 I DID AND I FEEL LIKE I CAN FINALLY SLEEP NOW~
Photo with 2 notes
Chapter 5: New Voice
The sickening snap sounded just like it would in films. Except now, Dan knows it’s real, and he can actually feel it. The glass from the windows pierced their way into his flesh, and he cried out, the pain blinding him.
“I knew this would happen,” Anabelle’s gloomy voice said. “It was a bad idea.”
“Shut the fuck up, Anabelle!” Dan screamed out of pain and frustration. “Just shut the fuck up and leave me alone!”
The hysterical crying then sounded in the ears. It took Dan a moment to realise it was his own.
From a distance, he could see the large truck all mangled and crashed. He wondered if the people in there fucked their legs up like he did.
“He’s not breathing…he’s losing blood…” Amy whispered. “He can die any minute now…tick tock, tick tock.”
Dan screamed even more. He tried to raise his hands to his ears, but a searing pain went through his arms. He couldn’t block out the sounds.
“Phil, help me!” he cried. “Help! Help!”
He cried even more, just wanting to drop dead right then and there. He squeezed his eyes shut, wanting it all to go away…
Dan opened his eyes, seeing only his ceiling. He had no recollection of what he had dreamt, so he was stuck wondering why his heart was beating so fast and why his duvet was wrapped around him like a straight jacket.
He sat up, untangling the sheets from his body, and then he wiped the sweat off his forehead. He found himself being paranoid and clammy, but he couldn’t figure out why.
“Tick, tock,” Amy chanted in his war. “Tick tock, tick tock…”
Dan’s eyes widened. He had a slight feeling that the dream involved death. Yes, it definitely involved death.
The uneasy feeling in Dan’s stomach slowly made its way up his body, settling heavily in his chest. He lied back down, curling up in a ball as the feeling icily carved its way deeper inside his body. His eyes were heavy with sleep, but they remained only half closed. Before he knew it, the sun had begun to creep into the room, illuminating everything in sight. Dan became very still, not finding any reason to move.
Eventually, Phil entered the room, ready to wake Dan up and get him ready for today’s events, but his heart dropped when he saw him motionless on the bed. Phil knew exactly what this was, even though it hardly ever happened. Dan was experiencing catatonia, but it was unknown how long it would last. Sometimes it would be an hour, other times the whole day.
“Dan?” Phil called, hoping hd was wrong. He walked over to the bed, squatting down in front of his unresponsive boyfriend.
His eyes were open, but distant. His breathing and body temperature were normal, but his body remained limp. Phil wondered if Dan was aware of anything around him. He tried intertwining their fingers, leaning in to kiss him, and even touching his neck, but Dan remained still.
“No, please. Not today,” Phil pleaded, taking his hand. “Please talk to me, Dan. Please, say something. Placenta, llamas, anything!”
“Look at him suffer,” that god forsaken male voice spoke in Dan’s ear. “You’ll have him begging for death soon enough.”
On the outside, Dan felt like he was strapped to a chair, head to toe, trying to break free. He was screaming on the inside, screaming until his throat bled. He wanted to destroy everything holding him back, but the imaginary restraints were impossible to escape from.
“If you thought Amy was bad and Sparks was scary, you’ll love me,” the voice smugly said. “I’m here for life, motherfucker!”
Even Dan himself couldn’t fathom how much he wanted to scream. He could only look without seeing anything around him. He only looked at Phil whenever he came into view. Dan was more than sure that he was trying to bring him out of this catatonic state; if only Dan could will himself to listen and go through with it.
The sounds were muffled. The only thing Dan could hear clearly were his demons. Amy was laughing. Anabelle was crying. All of them were pulling Dan down even deeper, and eventually he closed his eyes.
There was a cold sensation on Dan’s forehead when he woke up. His eyes opened and he saw only the ceiling. He curled his fingers and toes, making sure he could actually move now. All feelings of despair and hopelessness were gone, and only uncertainty remained.
Dan reached up to his forehead, where a wet cloth was placed. He removed it from his skin and looked at it, trying to remember when it was put on him. He then looked around the room, wondering where Phil was. Someone’s footsteps sounded in the hallway, but when the person entered the room, it wasn’t who Dan was expecting.
It was a woman, in about her twenties. She had blond hair that was held up in a ponytail and she had bright green eyes. She wore floral scrubs and was holding a plastic bag filled with transparent orange bottles in one hand and a glass of water in the other.
This gave Dan great anxiety. Who was this woman? And why was she holding numerous amounts of pills? He sat up against the headboard, clutching the bedsheets in a death grip.
“Hi,” she said calmly, keeping a distance. “I don’t think, um, Phil told you….I’m Chloe. I’m your nurse. I check in from time to time. I see you’ve come out of the catatonia. How do you feel?”
“Where’s Phil?” Dan asked, beginning to ramble. “Why are you here? Why have I never heard of you? I want Phil here. Why isn’t he here? Are you even real?”
Chloe stood there for a moment, her face neutral. Maybe she was real.
“Did I do something wrong?” Dan asked in a much softer tone. “Did Phil bring you here to take me away? Are you going to take me to the hospital?”
“No, honey, no,” Chloe gently told him. “I deliver your medications. Phil tells me to come when you’re asleep or when you’re taking a shower, as you’d only find me a stranger. I wasn’t supposed to come today, but apparently you were running a fever, so I…. Er, he had me come over.”
Dan still wasn’t convinced. Obviously this woman wanted something. Maybe that was rohypnol in that plastic bag.
“You just need to take some pills and I’ll be on my way,” she said, slowly stepping towards him. “You also need to eat something, seeing as it’s-” she checked her watch “-six o’clock and your stomach’s been grumbling the entire time you’ve been asleep.”
“Where is Phil?” Dan asked again.
“He’s out. He thought you would still be asleep,” Chloe explained. “He should be back soon.”
“Where did he go?”
“He didn’t say. I’m only a nurse.”
Dan didn’t know what to say from there. Why would Phil want to go somewhere alone? Why wouldn’t he take Dan, regardless that he was asleep and immobile the whole time, or at least leave a note? Did he do this often? Did he leave to blow off steam for caring over Dan’s dependent ass? Did he secretly hate Dan?
“It’s okay, honey,” Chloe told him as if she were reading his mind. “You know how to tune out the voices, right?”
“I-” Dan was about to say, but then realising she was right. The new voice was the one giving him all these doubts. Holy shit this guy was a freaking nuisance. “You’re not one of them, are you?” he asked Chloe.
“No honey, I’m very much real.” She smiled. “Just think, where would you be if I wasn’t here delivering your needed medications? Why do you ask?”
Dan wasn’t sure if he should tell her about New Voice. That’s the name. Either that, or Dan’s Personal Satan. He was wondering if he said he was hearing a new delusion, would he be chucked back into the madhouse. But he could also tell that Chloe was persistent, so he had to say something.
“Well, I have some trouble perceiving reality, in case you didn’t know,” he said impulsively.
Chloe was unphased by this statement.
“Right, well, these can help with that,” she said, opening the bag to pull out one bottle.
Dan held out his hand to receive the little tablet, and he realized he was shaking. Is this how his body reacts without his medicine? The entire time, he thought he would be laying on the floor, foaming at the mouth.
After taking two different types of meds, Chloe told him that she would be back in a few days. She let herself out as Dan preferred to keep well away from her. He was going to have a serious talk with Phil once he came back.
Post with 6 notes
Okay, so you see Harry with Kendall Jenner and suddenly you bitches want Taylor Swift back? Weren’t you wishing a slow, painful death upon her when she was with Harry? And now you’re being nice to Swift when Harry finds a new girl?
Harry Potter Animated Series
Question reblogged from ♡the guy with the hair & the internet cult leader♡ with 54 notes
Anonymous asked: how do u feel about dan getting 3 million
what the actual fuck happened. w hEN DID LITTLE DAN HOWELL BECOME SO BIG.
remember when he didn’t really have any friends and hated himself? remember when he was so insecure and thought his life was going no where? NOW LOOK AT HIM
he works for a huge broadcasting company, has traveled and met so many cool people, he has millions of girls willing to drop their pants for him in a second, and best of all he lives and does everything with his best friend!
seriously though i’m so proud. i remember celebrating every +100,000 he got and the day we refreshed his youtube page until he hit to 1 million. he’s come so far and i’m so proud to call myself a fan of his. seriously he’s a great guy and i love him.
Question reblogged from ♡the guy with the hair & the internet cult leader♡ with 4 notes
Anonymous asked: ALSO (I'm the one who believes in friendship again) I realised that the friend who introduced me to Dan & Phil is basically the Phil to my Dan and that's just the best thing ever bc I know I'm not alone ^-^ (god this is fucking cheesy)
thaT IS SO CUTE THOUGH AWWWWWW ;-;
Question reblogged from ♡the guy with the hair & the internet cult leader♡ with 3 notes
Anonymous asked: Ok so I've never experienced anything at all. Like I've never had a boyfriend, never been kissed, never did anything sexual at all. Whenever I tell this to people, they always act surprised. Like why is it so damn surprising? Why do I need to not be a virgin, or why do I need to have a boyfriend? Why is it a shock that someone doesn't have any experience? Ugh sorry I just had to get that off my chest.
that doesn’t shock me. so fucking what you’ve not done any of those things? it shouldn’t matter and you are your own person and you’ll do those things when you’re ready. you don’t just give those things to anyone. you’re taking your time and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, love. don’t give a fuck what people think. their opinions mean nothing, love!
Page 2 of 1316